There are periods of time in life when it feels like an army has gathered outside my door, waging a war I did not start and have no heart to fight. Like Ukraine staring down Russia. Only mine is a depressive invasion of the heart. A ghost army camping in conflicts I did not create, but in which I feel squarely placed. Phantom soldiers coming for me or for someone I love. Someone for whom I’d go to war—or a persuasive cause I cannot turn down. There are sides in a battle. I favor the side where I love and live my life. I find something right about what is wrong. I must. It’s how I survive. I don't feel fit for this battle looming umbrella-like over my world, but you couldn’t tell this by looking at me. Nevertheless, here I am, making battle plans, arming myself. Preparing for the worse. Hoping for the best. Seeking alliances, making amends wherever possible, building my case. What can possibly bring back peace?
Have you been here before?
I know the train has left that faraway station and I wait, watch, worry, pray for someone or something to step in and save the day. The time locomotive takes painfully forever, giving me too much time to sit and stew on scary imaginary outcomes. Illusive sabers rattle; steal my peace, my joy, my everything I thought I believed in. I bargain with God. I plead. Dear God, you said “Fear not.”
But I do fear.
Exhausted, out of options, finally, in the middle of my huge rocky panic mountain, standing on the dreaded edge of my calamity cliff—I hear a voice. Like no other voice. I remember this voice. Lay all your burdened pitiful efforts, your trepidation, your unease, firmly at the feet of the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ. Trust Him.
I summon a slim slice of courage. White flag! Here! Take it! Please. Take it all. I surrender! Even if all left is wreckage, I am too weak to fight. I will trust God, because I have no choice but to trust God. Everything depends on this: One. Single. Act.
And The LORD says to me, to you, in 2 Chronicles 20:15 “Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s… Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you."
The LORD is saying this to me, to you, in our situations, or for someone heavy on our heart. Hope in God because He loves us. We don't have to live in fear and discouragement by things we cannot control. Remember…the battle is not ours, it is the LORD's!